Friday, June 29, 2007

Junk Food

The following tattoos are in a new category of bad tattoos: Good Execution, Bad Idea. These tattoos are all done well (some of them amazingly well), and they are such terrible, horrible, awful ideas that they come around full-circle and are possibly the coolest tattoos ever. Only the truly brave and awesome can pull off having a greasy junk food item tattooed on their body for the rest of their life.
This entry is dedicated to BCO. Pizza Forever!

Pizza! (sorry for the bad quality photo):

Pizza and Monkeys and Pot Bellies, oh my!

Flaming Burger:

Summer Vacation Burger:

Monster Burger (done by my favorite tattoo artist, Myles Karr):

And finally, related but not as awesome- McDonald's Boy:


Please let me state that I have a huge soft spot for wizard tattoos. They are pretty much always terrible (let me know if you have seen a good wizard tattoo), but charming, in a weird kind of way. I don't really know why I like bad wizard tattoos so much, because I certainly don't find bad fairy tattoos charming (or even good fairy tattoos). Anyway, here is a bevy of awesomely awful wizard tattoos:

Hairy Red-Eyed Floating Head Wizard:

Meek Purple Wizard:

Yin-Yang "POUNDER" Wizard (the bats are really cool though):

Death Wizard:

Space Wizard (I love love love this dude):

Blasty Wizard:

Wizard-That-Doesn't-Look-Like-A-Wizard 1 (the website I found it on clearly stated that it was a wizard):

Wizard-That-Doesn't-Look-Like-A-Wizard 2:

And, for the grand finale, Not Safe For Work Wizard (thanks Jen):
click here to see NSFWW

Bad Portraits

One of the most unfortunate tattoos that you can have is a badly done portrait, and sadly there are a lot of them out there.
Here is the first of what I am sure will be many installments of Bad Portraits:

The details are what makes this tattoo truly awful. The tattoo of her chest tattoo. The hands (which aren't even in the photo). The cheekbones. The teeth.

This is my favorite bad portrait. It's shark-zombie-bride. I feel so sorry for the guy who got this. Again, note the teeth.

This poor guy has a zombie child on his arm. She doesn't have shark teeth- she seems to be suffering from the opposite problem: gummy mouth.

Okay, this one isn't executed so terribly (I'm sure when it healed it looked pretty decent) but it's creepy as hell!

From the same place that brought you creepy thumbs-up dude, we have creepy-cutter-angel (complete with tattoos-of-tattoos):

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Star Wars

I bring you three wonky Darth Vaders, one zombie Leia, and an amazing back piece:


Today's theme is monsters! I have some gems for you. I actually have a huge soft spot for terrible 80's metal looking tattoos. There's something about the wonkiness that makes them awesome, but only if they are of really brutal monsters. Or maybe wizards.

I think this is a vampire dark elf zombie monster, but I am not really sure. Also, what is spearing the left eye? A tail of something even more sinister?

I actually kind of love this one. I can't figure it out! I think it has three heads, a bunch of bulging muscles, some horns, some hands doing the claw (my favorite), and the weirdest lower body I have ever seen.

This is the best hellhound-in-a-graveyard EVER, but only because he has a really wicked goatee. I think it is from Big Dogz Ink. The skull looking woefully upwards is a great bonus.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Skull tattoos

I love skull tattoos so very, very much. I have nine of them myself. But these ones? Not so much to love about them.

Is this a welder skull? He looks like he is melting!

Does this skull have a cigarette coming out of his head? And what is the big log behind him?

I couldn't figure the other two out, but I really can't figure this one out. What is this? Alien angel quarterback skull?

** update! Apparently Skull #2 is a skull bong. That pretty much makes it more awesome/awful all at once.

Fantasy Failures

Fantasy gems from Big Dogz Ink:

Unicorn tattoos are awesome! Tribal tattoos are not. Wonky unicorns floating astride a tribal piece? Totally awful.

This wizard is almost awesome. He's grizzled and has a cool staff, but his hand is melting, his beard and his cloak meld into each other, and the whole tattoo looks scratched.

And from Headlight Tattoo (not all their stuff is terrible, so it's not as fun as Big Dogz, but there are some gems in the galleries if you search)

Okay, so the color choices in this fairy aren't that bad, but the proportions? The smooshed face? The hair? The floppy left hand? (the right hand claw is kinda sweet though.) The weird shading in the dress?